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Beu’s Story

It was a glorious sunny afternoon and Beu was outside in the garden slowly melting, reading the local newspaper. The headline ran “BEWARE, SERIAL COOKER ESCAPED FROM  BRUINE PRISON”, but this didn’t bother Beu as she had no idea where Bruine was. Not to mention the fact she was so large, any serial cooker would have a serious problem reaching her vitals.

Suddenly, a fork lift truck burst into her garden, scooped her up and drove of. Shock and fear suddenly hit Beu, and she started to scream. No one heard, and if they did, they probably wouldn’t have expected the noise to come from the fork lift truck.

The truck continued for some distance before it came to a sudden stop. The bucket was lowered and Beu rolled out, onto the side of a hemispherical pit, not unlike a giant bowl. Beu lay at the bottom of the pit looking up, in shock, until a face loomed into view over hers. It was Sue! Carefully Sue helped right Bue, which took quite an effort as both were of equally large, and wobbling around.

Sue looked as shocked as Bue to see a familiar face, they had grown up together and Bue’s brother had recently married Sue’s sister. But before they had a chance to catch up with life, or panic, the pit started to spin. Bue and Sue were pushed towards the edge and lay sprawled there, unable to move. They quickly became rather pale, as neither did very well with fairground rides and just before they thought lunch would come back up, the spinning stopped.

They both righted themselves, terrified at what was happening to them and made their way back to the centre. “Look at your hair, it’s gone completely fluffy,” Bue exclaimed over Sue. Sue not sure how to respond, and probably from the shock, said nothing back. At this point the spinning started again. It continued more slowly this time and who would have thought but the Euf family started to slide down the side to join Sue and Bue. First it was the parents Ellie and Ed, who looked rather the worse for wear, then Elinor and Emmett followed looking rather scrambled also. As the spinning was slowing some children’s clothes, all in bright yellow fell into the mix, followed by Louise, sobbing gently.  

The spinning slowed to a stop and they all collapsed into a heap on the floor, Bue was going to say hello to the Euf family, but thought better, as instead of words, vomit might come out. While they were recovering Flure and Andy joined them. This seemed to signal something as suddenly the lights changed to red and the temperature started to rise.

That was the last the Euf’s remembered. All that was the delicious smell of lemon drizzle cake wafting out of the cooker.

The Euf Family

Ed was reading the newspaper at the breakfast table when Emmett, piped up “Where’s Bruine?” Ed turned to look at his son thoughtfully and replied,

“Oh, no where close to here, why?”

“A serial cooker has escaped,”

“Don’t you mean serial killer?” Ed questioned as he turned to the front page. To his surprise it did say cooker, “It must have been a typo,” Ed suggested then muttered, “I shall send a letter in to correct them later.” As Ed had little to do that Saturday, and writing to the local newspaper made  him feel important.

Ed turned to the clock, it was 12:30 and Ellie still hadn’t come back from her run. Normally everyone slept a little longer on the weekend, but his wife insisted on going jogging before breakfast. He called to Elenor “Have you seen your mother?”

Eleanor poked her head around the kitchen door, “Havn’t seen her all morning, I heard the door go ‘bout 7 though.” Ed was a little worried, normally Ellie only jogged for about 45mins, before her asthma kicked in and she collapsed on the floor.

“I’m just going to look for Mum.” Called Ed as he put on wellies over his PJ’s and left the house. He hadn’t gone far when he stepped right into a giant hole in the road. He was too surprised even to let out a yell, as it had been covered by cardboard painted like tarmac. Ed starred up. The road loomed above him, there was no way he could jump. As his eye’s started to adjust to the gloom he noticed a body curled up in the corner. It was Ellie, to his surprise.

Back at the house Eleanor had gotten into an argument with Emmett over who was supposed to be doing the washing up this week. “Where have Mum and Dad got to!” accused Eleanor,

“I dunno, but I don’t wanna do the dishes.”

“Tough,” snapped Eleanor, “It’s your turn ‘nd you know it! We have to find them, put on your trainers.” They both stomped out of the door, and fell into a massive hole.

Down they tumbled into the dark. “Mum! Dad!” exclaimed Eleanor, “Why you down here! Isn’t it Emmetts time to do the dishes?” but before they could reply the hole starts to move, its tremors like an earthquake, and Eleanor and Emmett curl up tight to protect themselves. They rattle around in the cardboard hole, until they out and into thrown a spinning pit. There are two large bodies pressed against the walls, as the spinning slows they recognise them as the fat ladies down the road, Sue and Bue.

As the Euf family start to regain their bearings, Andy and Fleur join them. This seemed to signal something as suddenly the lights changed to red and the temperature started to rise.

That was the last they remember. The only remain was the delicious smell of lemon drizzle cake wafting from the cooker.

The Clement Triplets

The Clement triplets were at day nursery, Mrs Clement  had dropped them off early, as she despised children. They were all playing quite happily when Lily found a door they hadn’t seen before. Lily called her sisters over and they stared in wonder at what lay behind.

“Should we open it?” asked Lily.

“But there might be monsters,” quivered Louise.

“I will fight them off!” exclaimed Laura, cheering up Louise.

Lily opened the door with Laura at the ready to fight off any monsters and Louise at the back behind them all. But there was nothing there, just darkness. Lily took a tentative step forwards and suddenly disappeared, but not before grabbing Laura’s hand (who Louise was holding onto) and dragging them with her. They flew down a tunnel with rough edges which grabbed at their clothes. Then ‘pop’ out the other side they came into the nursery garden.

“Again, again, again!” Chimed Lily, looking around for her sisters. In front of her was a rather disheveled looking Laura, as her yellow jumper was in shreds and not much remained. But with a huge grin on her face, Laura joined in with the chant.

It wasn’t until Mrs Clement came to pick up her children that any of them noticed that Louise wasn’t in the nursery.


The sun was bothering Fleur, she was just heading home from a long night shift at the hospital and couldn’t wait to get to bed. She was so tired that she didn’t notice it wasn’t her house as she collapsed on to the bed.

She awoke a couple of hours later with a start as the whole room was shaking. Andy was frantically waving at her, he also worked at the hospital but at the pharmacy, so he had normal working hours. Andy seemed to be mouthing something over the racket of a whole house shaking. “It’s the serial cooker! It’s come to get us!” Fluer had no idea what was going on, and just simply shook her head, which probably didn’t communicate anything as shaking a head in a shaking room isn’t particularly discernable.

The shaking came to a stop and the floor open, Fluer and Andy fell through. Into a giant hemispherical pit they went, collapsing upon a pile of people. As they tried to shake themselves down and off the other people, everything turned red. The temperature very quickly became unbearable at which point they passed out.

The delicious smell of lemon drizzle cake wafted from the oven.

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